Ok, just a quick content/trigger warning: I’m about to talk about body stuff again. We have an appointment with pelvic floor physiotherapy today and we are very frightened, so don’t read on if you’re also not doing well. X
So, today we have a appointment with a pelvic floor physiotherapist. We are bricking it.
The doctor didn’t think that endometriosis was what’s wrong with us, but he also wasn’t prepared to give up on us. He kept saying that being in pain like we are is not normal. He referred us to the pelvic floor physiotherapist just to rule out that that’s not the problem. We all thought that pelvic floor issues weren’t our problem, doctor included, but he wants to have the experts rule it out.
The Dutchman is coming with us, but even then, there’s that familiar horrible knot of anxiety writhing in our stomach.
I’m particularly terrified. I want to protect my system and keep them safe, but nineteen assures me she will help with that. The younger ones usually hide during interactions with the outside world, so it might be hard for them to see how much fear I’m feeling. If this doesn’t work, they’re going with hormones to stop my cycle. That’s horrible in itself as they basically induce early menopause. It’s reversible, but still… Hot flushes in this heat?! Gods.
Apparently there will be another internal exam today and that’s just the worst thing. I know we already managed one fairly well, but this is another and with very little warning. Last time was the same, though, so maybe that’s better? If I had known, I would have been stressing out a lot worse.
The hospital are working really hard. I just want answers for my long suffering team.