Chronic illness: Tiredness edition.

Hey all, it’s 19. I am tired.

I didn’t used to be tired. We were a bundle of energy back in May, happy to chase small children around, work out at the gym and throw ourselves into anything physical. Now, we struggle to get to midday without a nap.


That’s literally what I’ve just had us all do. I’m exhausted beyond mere sleepiness, so a nap has been had. Sadly, I am STILL tired, and more than a little upset by how much I am tired. I’m helping 26 battle constant pain, exhaustion and depression and I quite honestly have no idea why we are all so so exhausted. We are sleeping at night, and we are actually eating.

We are having to teach tonight and we really just need a break. Sadly, we can’t have one.

What do you guys out there do to escape the tiredness that is in your lives? We used to exercise but now we can’t, se we need advice.


Thanks for your support through this awful health rollercoaster. I’m agreeing with that Dr the other day- it’s probably Endo, and they probably saw the distended bowel first (maybe that’s got Endo on it) and though that was it. Sorry folks, it ain’t. The first doctor we saw back at the hospital has a suspicion that the cyst (the mammoth one) was an endometrioma. I mean, Jesus, we’re a fucking classic case. The Dr the other day on the phone to 26 says that she used to work with the doc who signed us up for the laparoscopy, and basically said that you don’t need to see the nodules for it to be endometriosis. We have an appointment booked with her to discuss our options.


The Dutchman is of the same opinion we are- get rushed off to hospital when we arrive in the Netherlands, and then we will see what they have to say in their wisdom. I’m not giving up yet.


Stay cool everyone, 19 x


Reblog: World Mental Health Day

Reblog from an amazing blogger. The bit about coping really helped us today. 26 x

Mental Mummy

I was going to write a blog today anyway and then I realised it’s World Mental Health Day, so even more reason.

I apologise for any waffle, I never actually know what I’m going to write when I start these so it all just comes out in one big mess. Most the time it’s readable though, thankfully.

One of the biggest issues with mental health is, it’s rarely openly  talked about. It’s never brought up in general everyday chit chat either;

“Hi how are you doing?!”

“Well actually I’m really struggling, I have a mental illness and today I had a panic attack that made me feel like I was going to die and then I cried so much I threw up. How are you?”

It just doesn’t happen.

And even with those you are close with, it isn’t easy to talk about. Especially if they have never been through…

View original post 1,324 more words

News- this could still be endometriosis.

Hi all, 26 speaking.

Huge news- spoke to a doctor about my pain. She immediately thought it was Endo, even after the laparoscopy result, and has prescribed me new meds and wants to talk about treatment options at my next appointment. I’m crying in relief. I don’t think this is bowel pain, I never have. I bet they didn’t find Endo nodules when they operated cause they were in there for 30 mins.

Please gods let me have answers soon.

26 x


(PS- looks like the Dutchman and I may have a house! He’s signing mortgage papers tonight!)

TW!! 50 Shades of Fucked up: The truth of Christian Grey’s sociopathy

Well, hi all, 19 here. We have a tonne of bullshit going on in our lives atm, so we thought we would post this as a distraction.

I’ve said it before and will say again- Christian Grey is a sociopath. This video agrees with me. Check it out.

As far as I know, all the big cult leaders were sociopaths. Stay safe when you watch this video, a couple of scenes could be triggering. Also, the cinema sins ticker helped keep me anchored and laughing a little, just so I didn’t go back to where I was last night. Hugs to all, 19. X

Film Theory and Cinema Sins: 50 Shades of Grey Cult theory

Do you know what really grinds my gears!? TW: Religion

(With apologies to Family Guy for nicking the quote! Religion mentioned, be careful).


So I use Moodscope to help map my moods. Everyone in the system likes it because it helps us realise where we are with our moods and even gives suggestions for how to help lift them. That’s awesome. Sixteen wishes she had something like that when it was her, back when our body was 16, too. She feels like she might have been able to identify when she was heading for a crash and could have stopped it from being so bad.

Moodscope has a blog, which we get every day, straight to our inbox. They’re amazing. Sometimes, they make the difference between a bad day and a better one. The one problem is, they forget about trigger warnings!

This morning, one came through which we liked, but then BOOM. Religion gets mentioned- Christianity specifically. Cue scrolling frantically past the bible verses and feeling stupid, upset and slightly panicky.

Moodscope, I think, makes this mistake because quite a lot of people see religion as benign and helpful. It’s meant to be a guiding force, something to comfort and protect. Moodscope doesn’t know that religion has a damaging power above just making people feel a bit guilty for sinning.

In some cases, religion damages people so badly they will never be the same again. We know all about that and how one small thing written about Revelation can have us feeling frightened within seconds.

Our plea to Moodscope, and any other blog/info post, for that matter, is PLEASE put a trigger warning for religion. People like us will thank you.