Re Blog: The Big Bi Elephant in the Room

Cannot agree more!

Major

Black Man Leather JacketBisexuality is often attacked with a lot of huge misconceptions. Funny thing is, bisexuals are even the black sheep of the LGBTQA community. Part of the reason bisexuality gets such a bad rap and why so many are afraid to identify as such is because it’s associated with many negative connotations:
1. Bisexuals are confused.
2. Bisexuals can’t be faithful
3. Bisexuals are greedy/sluts
4. Bisexuality is a cop-out/phase
5. Everybody is bisexual (biggest lie since the tooth fairy)
6. Bisexuals spread more sexually transmitted diseases
7. Bisexuals are deviants

The list goes on and on. But bisexual BLACK men get the worst end of the deal. They suffer the most, as in the Black community your manhood is often determined by how many women you can bed. Being gay in the black community automatically, unfortunately, puts you on the low end of totem pole. I know, it’s shameful. Also…

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Nice things ahoy!

Hi, it’s 15. I know we are meant to be working but we are too excited- today we get to fly out to see the Dutchman and go to our FIRST EVER music festival!

 

None of us has ever been to one and we have all really wanted to go for YEARS. It’s been sad quite often- due to dancing, I personally sacrificed weekends, evenings and holidays so I could try to be the best. We haven’t ever had the time or money, and it’s so exciting to think that we do now!

We will be flying out later tonight, meeting the Dutchman, and heading to his. I hope I’m going to be able to sleep, I’m so excited I feel like it’s Vegas again! Then we’ll load the car and head to the festival, set up camp… and the adventures will begin.

We have to be in a wheelchair again for the festival seeing as it’s hard for our body to stand up for any longer than about fifteen minutes without a lot of pain. We can push sometimes, and try and extend the time period, but inevitably we end up recovering for the ENTIRETY of the next day in bed. Boring if you’re at a festival. The chair will ALWAYS be a bonus.

I’m not worried about it but 26 is. She got really upset the other night and rang the Samaritans, and we all ended up talking to the lady on the phone for a long while. It was really awful for 26. She was just at her wits’ end, she is so triggered and gets so frightened of medical stuff. 14 and 19 are best at dealing with that stuff- I lack the courage, I get shy and forget what I’m saying. Plus, 14 and 19 are good at pretending to be 26. I can do it but it’s hard.

The woman from the Samaritans was lovely and eventually got 26 thinking about other things, like the wedding and the festival. I’ve promised her that whilst we are away we are literally just going to live in the moment. If she needs to, she can do it through my eyes, or anyone else’s. We’re here to help her. We also have a phone consultation as a pre-op on the 31st of August, then, after that… the operation will be round the corner. That’s why I want us all to just enjoy the festival uncomplicatedly and just go and have all of the fun. I think we all need a break from just being at home, unable to go anywhere or do anything cause we got told we weren’t allowed to drive (heart is being a butt still and has palpitations. Silly heart! Be a heart, not a butt!) and we are always in pain. The wheelchair should help us do what we want to do. We’re so excited that finally we get to be sociable.

 

At any rate, I am SO STOKED and cannot believe it’s finally here! I’ve really missed the Dutchman. Can’t wait to see him again, he’s missed us and I’ve missed him.

 

Hope you guys are having a great summer.

 

15 x

Surgery: Endo or something else?

TW: I get real about periods, pain, hospitals and gynae stuff. Stay safe.

 

 

So I (26) basically am just here to tell you what has been happening.

So on Friday, we went to the medical appointment. Nineteen was her usual badass self and took us into the appointment, braved the waiting room and then the actual appointment.

She went in, sat down, and the doctor practically started asking questions as she sat down! He asked her whether she had pain all the time, where it was, if it hurt to have sex… She answered everything in her usual nineteen way, a little bit flippant but truthfully. She let him know when the pain started and that she had been having problems with awful pain and bleeding for most of her life.

He was calm and just got on with the facts. He asked her if she had had any children. We don’t count the miscarriage as having a child, because she was never born, so she said no. He also asked her if he could do an internal examination but she said no, on behalf of all of us, cause we do that thing where we agree to it them freak out later. She decided it was better to keep us safe.

He was fine with that and then basically told us we were going to have a laparoscopy. I absolutely melted. I was so incredibly relieved! Nineteen kept her head and asked various questions, such as whether not having an internal exam now would cause problems and what would happen. The doctor explained that he could do th exam whilst we were under anaesthetic (a huge relief!) and that he would check to see what was wrong.

He thought it was probably one of three things- one, a chronic appendix, two, a twisted ovary (they can untwist it during surgery but if it’s dead, it has to go) or endometriosis.

Today, I rang the Endometriosis UK helpline to ask them some of my questions, such as will the heart stuff stop us from getting surgery? The lady on the helpline didn’t think so, but she did think that I should ask the hospital that. She reassured me that an anaesthetic is actually a fairly pleasant experience, and isn’t as scary as we thought. One minute you’re talking to someone, the next, you’re awake and in a different room. She explained that there might be some pain in our shoulder blades from the gas, and that they will write a report on their findings. I was encouraged to get a copy of that report- apparently it’s a right and we should be able to get copies of whatever we request fairly easily.

All that remains now is to stay calm and wait for the surgery. I have a list of things to ask but I’m pleased that we will finally have answers.

Massive thanks are due to the Dutchman, lovely as always, and to the friends and family who always keep us floating. Puppy, too, has been lovely. I also want to thank everyone who keeps on reading, commenting or liking the posts I upload- you guys are amazing.

 

The consultant thinks it’s endometriosis. Yet another huge diagnosis that may or may not be right. However, in my personal experience, I’ve been right about PTSD, DID and Bipolar. I was right about my back not being fully better, right about the scar tissue there and right about needing further physio to fix it. I kind of hope in one way that I’m wrong this time, but I don’t think I am.

 

At any rate, here’s to answers after fifteen long years of awful periods, baffling times where there was pain but no bleeding, difficulty in having sex and, since May, non-stop pain. It will be a relief to know what the problem is.

Hospital Appointment news.

So, I took care of the hospital appointment today. The consultant was quite quick with us, and we have been referred for a laparoscopy. On the ninth of September.

 

I’m so proud of all of us. I (19) did the appointment, twenty six broke down and cried in relief at the end, and we have now got something that will give us a result (hopefully!).

 

I’m so so pleased about this. I’m so proud of us. I’m scared of the anaesthetic but I’m really hoping finally we get answers to all our pain.

Stay cool everyone,

 

19 x