TW: Pain, sadly

Holy mother.

Since deciding to stop the contraceptive pill, life has been interesting. Still the same palpitations sadly, but now it’s that time of the month…

14 and 15 remember this well. Forcing yourself into your school uniform, dragging yourself in, not having a clue what was said and being so far out of your own body because of the pain it felt like you floated.

We’re back here again.

The pain is so bad it makes us want to cry. We have our next hospital appointment on the 5th August, after much arguing and cajoling. Hoping very hard that we will be ok, and that 19 can whup ass- she usually does!

Endometriosis looks pretty likely now. All we need to do is get the doctors to think along the same lines as us.

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18 comments on “TW: Pain, sadly

  1. snowdroplets says:

    I’m sorry your having so much pain. Hope that you can get a diagnosis and a treatment plan that works! Sending support from another endo sister!

    • Thank you so incredibly much! No doctor wants to tell me what’s wrong, so I’ve had to go all Sherlock Holmes and work it out alone. Now if I can juuuust persuade the NHS it really DOES want to do a laparoscopy, so I can find out once and for all whether or not it’s endometriosis… that’d be great! Thanks for the love, really needing it right now x

      • snowdroplets says:

        It’s great that you’re doing your own research and advocating for your own health. For my case, I was really glad I had my first laparoscopy to diagnose and excise endo 4 years ago.

      • Thank you very much! I’ve found that with the NHS that I have to ask a lot to get what I want looked at seriously x

  2. Good luck at your upcoming appointment!

  3. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    Sending some calming and healing thoughts your way!

  4. It’s horrible floating (or, more like hobbling) around in pain without a “reason,” then getting test after test with no answers… and then having to try explain all this to judgemental people. It’s the pits! I empathise and you’re not alone. I had this for years until I finally had a cyst on an ovary that led to surgery and a diagnosis. I wouldn’t wish Endo upon anyone, but I hope you can get a diagnosis and some answers.

    If possible, try and have surgery with someone who does excision and knows what they’re doing, I had so much scar tissue/complications from my first surgeon who was not skilled enough to remove endo properly.

    Sending *hugs*

    • Okay, so after reading more of your blogs I realised you’re reflecting on the past… I am so sorry! I’m a dill.

      • Don’t worry! The post you’ve commented on with all your wonderful advice and concern actually is rooted in the here and now. I have DID, which makes my posts get a tad confusing because the other parts of me often write them. That can get confusing.

        I’m still in pain, still searching for a diagnosia, and still need all the help and advice I can get. Thank you so much for helping, we are all super grateful. x

    • Thank you. This particular bout kicked off with a nearly 6cm cyst on my ovary… your advice really helps. Like I said a little earlier, I need all the advice I can get, so thank you once again. x

      • What country are you in?
        I really hope you can get diagnosed, it makes treatment a bit easier/more effective. Have you been tested for PCOS (it’s easier to diagnose then Endo)? If you ever want to chat with someone who is empathetic (and experienced) with gyno stuff and mental health, I’m here as an online friend ❤

      • There’s a point. I’ve never to my knowledge been tested for PCOS, but I think people see that I’m slender and rule it out… when will the medical profession get it that diseases do not always prevent the same!?! I’m in the UK. That would be super nice, I’ve woken up in pain today and would totally love some support. x

      • 😦 It’s really disheartening waking up in pain day after day. Is it worse based on your cycle?
        I wouldn’t rule out PCOS just because you’re slender – do you have acne or excess hair? Being a female sucks sometimes!!

      • No acne, and no excess hair, just a lot of pain and cysts that come and go. The first set of cysts were in my ovaries, the second one was on my ovary. I know someone else who is slender and has got PCOS, she had acne but doesn’t seem to have excess hair… no disease manifests quite the same on each person! x

      • I know what you mean. I was diagnosed with PCOS after Endo by a natropath. I had symptoms pre-puberty and took over 10 years to diagnose… Which was weird concidering i was basically a walking, textbook example of it. But now i know and can treat 🙂

      • It’s strange. I think sometimes the alternative health practitioners can see the wood where others can’t see it for the trees! Love, Fourteen x

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