May has begun, it’s a trauma month and we all hate it.
At the moment, it’s been stressful because our nana fell two weeks ago and all the family has done ever since is rush round to help. The problem is, we think she should be in a home- she has Alzheimer’s and has no idea how to look after herself, and hasn’t for a while. Of course, we have tried to tell our family but they don’t want her to go in a home. Trouble is, we are all buckling under the strain, our mother included.
The good thing about May so far has been the fact that two of us have solved some huge issues.
Hi, it’s Fourteen. Twenty six said I should tell this bit, then Fifteen will have a go.
I realised the other day that I’ve finished my unfinished business. The Dutchman has a theory that the reason we are all still here is that we have unfinished business, like Casper. He says that the trauma that created us left us with unfinished business, with something we needed solving. The reason I’m here is because I just wanted permanence. I wanted someone to care. I broke up with a boyfriend I had fallen in love with because he didn’t know I had, and he just thought we were friends with benefits. Now I have the Dutchman. He has promised to be there forever. I feel safe and loved, and I know he’s telling the truth.
Hi, it’s Fifteen. I feel weird, starting to write like this. I usually start conversations with the Dutchman with those words, and I’m talking to all of you.
Last Saturday, the Dutchman and I were messing around. We just started off cuddling, then it sort of morphed and before I knew it, something happened. I remembered what I wanted that horrible night when I stayed with that ex boyfriend who decided to hurt me, and I realised that when I stayed there, I just wanted… I feel weird writing this. Nineteen’s saying I should just write it and not to be scared or ashamed. Here goes!
I just wanted to be seduced and made a fuss of. I really wanted someone I loved, and who loved me, to lie me down and take my breath away.
That’s what happened!
I finally got my wish.
It’s been a big deal. We’re all really happy about it. Twenty six is thrilled, nineteen has been telling me for ages that I deserve to feel better. The Dutchman cried when I told him what our afternoon meant to me.
We all had a tough, stressful day today, but the Dutchman reminded us that we are still smiling, and it’s May.