I have been debating whether or not to write about the change in my life. I am worried about hurting anyone, but I really, really want to shout out what is happening and how much I am grateful to the universe for arranging this for me.

It starts in 2012. A fractured girl, both mind and back, stumbles down a Manchester street dressed as a zombie. She doesn’t know it at the time, how brokenness lies under the surface, but she is thrilled and excited. She exchanges photographs and words, and notices a tall zombie, beard caked in blood, surrounded by amazingly costumed friends. She wants to say hi but is too scared.

Talking on the internet with the other zombie walk members, the tall guy interacts with her words. She likes him. He’s nice.

Fast forward, it’s 2013. She’s so sick. She really wants to do the walk again, but the times are scrambled. She misses it- but through the internet, she had actually managed to find a group of people to walk with. Tall guy is in this group. He’s the Dutchman.

2014- much recovered, in a relationship, and finally the friends meet! In all her zombie glory, she comes face to face with the devil, and Bonnie- metalheads, awesome and lucky are words that pop into her head. The walk goes amazingly. The Dutchman is so kind and so lovely that she feels incredibly safe. They also spend time making a film, and just before the Dutchman has to go home, she manages to get past her fear of new people and men to invite him to spend an evening watching films and chatting. There’s something there. A good friendship starting. She classes him as one of her close friends right there.

2015. Radio silence for a week from J. A year apart with little face to face contact. The metalheads getting married, and an invitation for her to go.

She wasn’t prepared for what followed.

The Dutchman has changed. There’s a beard, there’s a trim figure and there’s a frisson in the air between them. The wedding runs on, and she just wants to spend time with him and the Metalheads. A child notices the connection, and tells her mother.

The next day, there’s a zombie themed event which results in the two of them becoming zombie royalty. Photos are snapped, and a throne offered for a dead girl and her bodyguard.

Six more says spent together. The gap in between is torture because of the tear in her heart- America, or Europe…?

The choice becomes clear suddenly with static in the air and a question.

The choice made. The hardest phone call ever dealt with…

There is a happy ending, there is. Past the guilt, past the pain- there’s a clear future starting to unfold.

Being Death’s Maiden sounds frightening, but nobody can see the heart under the robes but her.


2 comments on “Schism.

  1. yourd says:

    Words cannot convey just how grateful I am to see you have become happy. And the best is yet to come.

    I have such sights to show you.

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