The way was not clear.
Two weeks I’ve languished in agony. I’ve been debating something that I know would change myself and my life.
Painful choices lay ahead. Two roads, two futures. Differences looming, pain, closure.
I’ve been crawling on my belly. I’ve been not sleeping and being unable to eat.
Eventually I knew what I had to do.
I’ll never forget what you did for me, J. I will always be grateful to you… But I can’t wait any more. I’m alone here, waiting for you. After Florida, everything ground to a halt. Like it always does, but this time there was a week’s radio silence.
Some gaps cannot be bridged.
The way ahead has been made clear now, but I’m still treading on glass for now. There’s so much hurt, and I’m so sorry, but this is not working.
I’ve been inactive on here because I’ve been thinking about all of this. I was so hurt by my own thoughts. I was so blinded to the truth.
The blur is fading though, and the clear patch came through. There’s going to be dark days, but I will make it.