So I received a rude email about my back- two years ago, as some of my readers will know, I suffered a stress fracture to my lower spine and it has not healed properly, thanks to serious cock-ups within the NHS. The most recent in this string of events is that I was discriminated against and refused treatment because of my PTSD. I was so distressed by this that I ended up on a motorway bridge, my voices screaming at me to jump.
I am still wrangling my way through the lengthy proceedure of getting treatment again (been without since March) and am now considering legal action. If so, this post will be the last fairly detailed one as I will have to keep the details to myself, but the main focus of my post today is the reaction I got from my psychologist, Dr K.
She was horrified that I had been treated in this way by a doctor- and she was also disgusted that I was still receiving no treatment for a serious back injury. I live in pain each day. There are rare days where I wake up totally pain free, or have a whole day where nothing hurts. The worst part of having a fracture that has healed incorrectly is that if I do too much (walk a bit around town after teaching for maybe an hour) it is agony. At my worst, my right foot drags along the floor and I limp like I broke the leg.
Dr K was angry for me that I still suffer this. It’s been two fucking years. I am supposed to be able to dance professionally for twelve hours a day on my back the way it is? Fuck no. I’ve had to quit dancing professionally for two reasons- my PTSD secondly, and my fucking spinal injury firstly.
Dr K was angry that I live with this. She was upset for me that I have lost my career that I worked so hard for.
You know what?
So am I.
I am done being a doormat for all and sundry. I have had it with people bossing me around and telling me I do not matter. I have absolutely had enough of being the person who gets the shitty deal.
Time for action.