Oh my god, just had the most irritating conversation EVER with my parents.
I love them so much but they are Christian and I am not, and they cling to this outdated concept of forgiveness.
They believe it is letting go of what happened to you and exonerating the one who did you wrong- as long as they admit they did wrong in the first place.
Thing is, my ex never will. They know that of course, but they said I have to forgive him internally… Really?
To me, forgiveness means wiping the slate clean and saying that everything that ever happened to you did not exist. It means obliterating the past in favour of a saccharine future.
I do want to forget what he did but I don’t want to let him off the hook. People like him deserve to wriggle on the end of a fish hook forever.
True power lies in clinging to whatever strength you have. My strength lies right now in my ability to not sweep this under the carpet any more. My strength lies in my puppy, sleeping on my knee. My strength lies in my family, my sister, my friends.
It does not lie in forgiving someone who will never feel remorse for what he did. In my head, that is not bitterness- it’s reality. That’s the hard lessons I’ve learned whilst being subject to eight years of agony.