I said when I got out I would write up my journal entries. Here goes the first one.
April 24th, 17:31.
Voices are on at me still non-stop. Being admitted. The mental health nurse said that I was a concern. Dr K got me to come here because she was worried for me.
The RAID team got called (Rapid Response mental health team) and now I’m waiting for a bed.
The voices are so angry with me! They want me to die so much. I don’t want to kill myself but they keep wanting me to.
I really hope this fixes some of this or I might die.
April 25th, 00:59.
I have been admitted.
I’m absolutely exhausted. I want to sleep but my brain is on fire, so I’ll be writing until I feel a bit more tired.
I’ve been taken to A&E before, like I’ve written, but I’m not sure it’s ever been as stressful as this. I was in such a state with Dr K at my appointment, she taught me some breathing techniques with a relaxation technique, then she rang the RAID team to let them know I was heading across. She talked to mum, too, and we got to A&E (ER for my American readers). The lovely Triage nurse saw me and told me that they would keep me safe. That was nice. Right then, I felt anything but.
The good part about being assessed was that I didn’t have to keep saying all the bad stuff in front of my mum. I felt believed, respected and valued.
I’m in Ward 3- have my own room with a little ensuite toilet. Not sure how I managed that but it helps with the paranoia. It’s a mixed ward but the men can’t come down here, so that’s a bit relief.
I saw the consultant- she was very kind. She has taken my blood and done a full mental health assessment on me.
I rang R and J. Both were awesome. Told Mr Robot about all of this too, and Harley Quinn and Y.
Oh, I think I actually feel tired now. I will end up writing more tomorrow.