TRIGGER WARNING: Yay, relapse.

So fucking proud of myself.

Not.

Advertisements

18 comments on “TRIGGER WARNING: Yay, relapse.

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    Did you cut hon? Oh no. I am so sorry. Thinking of you. Xo ❤ you can start again hon, its not the end of the world. XXX

  2. Lucy says:

    Thinking of you lovely ❤ Try not to be too hard on yourself xxx

  3. It stops and starts. Remember our minds hold our symptoms and our symptoms are the enemy. Remember that you are not your symptoms. They are separate. It took me a long time to realize that and I still forget often, but it’s true. You can get through this and I believe you will. You’re a Phoenix – you’ll rise from this.

    • I was 8 months clean before this. 8 months. Now I’m nothing.

      • You are far from nothing. I was a year clean before I pretty much butchered my legs. It seriously looks like I had major surgery on both of them. I’d like to think I’m not nothing, even though I often feel like it. I know you feel awful and you have every right to. Life is fucking cruel. But we deserve better. You deserve better. You are owed that. You need to stick around long enough to collect. You are so far from nothing.

      • There is a difference between you and me. You are a talented poet. I really am nothing. x

      • I’m sorry, I just disagree with you completely on that. Sure, we are different but I think you are fascinating and talented, kind and intelligent. You can’t be nothing. I wouldn’t waste my time talking to nothing or writing about nothing. I think you are something and something important and worthy and I’m sure there are many that agree with that sentiment. I just wish you did, too. Please take care. I went for a walk today and thought about you the whole way. I worry. I wish and worry and hope because that’s all I can do. But you can do so much more. Please believe that and believe you’re worthy. You deserve so much better than this. You deserve to feel so much better than this.

      • Thank you for thinking about me so much. I find it so hard to believe I’m worth anything when the voices are like they are tonight. I’m trying to fight tonight and I hope I win. xx

      • Please hang in there. The internet is down at my place so I’ve been worried but I can’t get on often to check on here anymore. 😦 I hope you’re doing better and I’m thinking of you and I believe in you and you’re stronger than you know – even though I know it doesn’t feel like it. You got this far – keep going. 🙂

      • Clinging on a bit better now- not just my fingertips on the cliff edge, I have my whole hand. I have my next appointment on Thursday with my therapist, I need to tell her what’s been happening. Thank you for your constant checking up, it really helped and i am so grateful xxx

  4. 😦 Tomorrow is a new day, try try try again 🙂

    • I’m sorry to be pessimistic, but I will be dead soon so there is no point. The voices want me dead and I have no choice but to obey.

      • I’m sorry, but the voices are wrong. EVERYONE is important and worthwhile, including you!!! No matter what we do or don’t accomplish in life, you are supposed to be here. Your blogging is raw, real, and inspires more than you know. We all have setbacks, epic crashes, but please keep trying! xoxo

      • Thank you so much. I feel lost and it is touching to have people tell me things like that at a time like this. Tonight I’m trying to fight the voices. I hope I win. xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s