Scared.

Today I nearly lost my friend Y. I love her for her constant presence by my side and her support, but I feel like I have been wrapped up in my own head so badly that I didn’t see her pain. I felt like letting go and flying away from it all when I realised how much of my life PTSD steals and corrupts.

Y, I am so sorry that I didn’t see how much pain you were in. I am so sorry that I let you down by not being here for you. I am sorry my illness got in the way of our friendship.

I am so tired and dissociative today, and I want nothing more but to curl up in my bed and sleep. I am entertaining family and am too dissociative to be sociable.

I feel guilty. Why was I not there for Y?

Advertisements

One comment on “Scared.

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    Sometimes we all get wrapped up in our own stuff hon. I am sure Y will understand. Maybe you two can have a long heart to heart or something. Sending you many hugs and good wishes. I hope your family thing went ok and you are safe. XX

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s