Today I nearly lost my friend Y. I love her for her constant presence by my side and her support, but I feel like I have been wrapped up in my own head so badly that I didn’t see her pain. I felt like letting go and flying away from it all when I realised how much of my life PTSD steals and corrupts.
Y, I am so sorry that I didn’t see how much pain you were in. I am so sorry that I let you down by not being here for you. I am sorry my illness got in the way of our friendship.
I am so tired and dissociative today, and I want nothing more but to curl up in my bed and sleep. I am entertaining family and am too dissociative to be sociable.
I feel guilty. Why was I not there for Y?