Ok, this isn’t fair.

I was supposed to be doing something really brave today- I was meant to be going on a zombie walk, and facing my fear of crowds. A kind lady was meant to be picking me up, and we were supposed to be going together to eat something and then go on the walk with her best friend and her little girl.

Yeah that didn’t happen.

The organisers of the event changed the time so I couldn’t go.

I had been teaching with my sister before going home to get dressed, and only checked my phone when I was nearly ready.

She had been trying to get hold of me for three hours to tell me the time had changed and could I meet her earlier?

Too late came the cry.

So now I get to do nothing fun for Halloween and I overreacted, as I usually do. I’m still upset and have been in floods of tears for a while, I’ve only just stopped crying.

What is the point in putting my hopes on things when I am this unstable?

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14 comments on “Ok, this isn’t fair.

  1. leftylola says:

    Because maybe the point is so that when something great happens, every hope that was dashed before just pales in comparison. Or maybe it doesn’t even have to be something great, but something just “okay” that reminds you that all the energy put into that hope was not for naught, and can be put into other “okay” things and some “great” things, too. I guess what I am trying to say is to find some “okay” thing today to enjoy. No matter how simple.

  2. mala says:

    Can you find something else fun to do for Halloween? 😦

  3. louiselaw1 says:

    Over reacting is totally normal on the road to recovery though. I used to over react all the time. Trust me, it will get better. I know it might seem like you would be better off being numb, but its not true. You are able to feel really shit, but think about the flip side of that. When something does go right for you (WHICH IT WILL!) you will feel elated and joyful and the over reactions will be forgotten. Every day you live and feel, you are getting closer to becoming more and more healthy and happy. Just don’t give up, because once you’re through the feeling really shit, it’s so worth it ❤

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