Thank gods, I made it.

Hi all- as the title says, I made it through today without dying.

The dark passenger was pretty brutal around afternoon. I was with my mum all day, and I had discovered a blade I forgot I had. In the few minutes that she was away from me, they were screaming at me to run away and cut as hard and deep as I could.

Do you know what I did?

I snapped that motherfucking blade and threw it away.

I feel like I might be winning. They might be horrible, they might be forceful, and they might have made me cut in the past and attempt to hang myself but today was not one of those days. Today, I stuck up my middle finger and decided I was going to fight them.

I’m under no illusions that my fight is totally over. I know that they are cunning and resourceful and won’t give up. But I have my next appointment with the psychologist on the 13th- please laugh at the irony, it is a Friday- and I am going to tell them about all this the minute I get there.

Thank you all so so much for supporting me on a day where I thought I might die. Thank you for watching over me Amber, S, Y and J. Most of all, thanks to all my other friends who have been there for me whilst I have been in crisis. I send love to you all.

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11 comments on “Thank gods, I made it.

  1. so the voices, there is no quick off switch for them, but there is one and you will soon find they fade. Keep drawing on strength and support where ever it is offered.

    pssst friday the 13th is good luck, didn’t you know? 🙂

  2. how does Sept the 6th look?

  3. louiselaw1 says:

    This is amazinggggg. Well done you amazing wonderful strong lady! I knew you could do this, absolutely well done.Onwards & upwards! ❤

    • Thank you so so much! I feel like I can finally get out of my black hole. I’ve had my difficulties recently, don’t get me wrong, and I still have a lot of problems, but this is a definite start. Thank you for all your emails, they’ve literally been lifesavers. xx

  4. You know, you have done something. You have shown yourself that those voices do not rule you, you are in control. This has given you strength. You can do anything now. 🙂

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