September the 5th.

The date tomorrow is the 5th.

I have snapped my blades. I have tried to ready myself against the storm. I feel like something will happen to me regardless and I am on edge.

Tomorrow I will say a mantra as I try and ignore the overwhelming pressure that is already starting to build in my head. I will stay away from anything that could cause me harm. I will try my goddamn hardest not to do anything bad to myself at all tomorrow.

I need support and I feel like the crisis team have let me down- I rang them to tell them about what’s happened to me and I have had no answer. I am going to ring again and keep ringing if tomorrow is bad.

 

I have J and he is keeping his phone on for me so I can get in contact. I have Y, and I have K, and my mum and sister. I just am desperate to not spend tomorrow fighting them off.

Thank you so much for talking to me. I will beat these voices. The dark passenger will not win.

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14 comments on “September the 5th.

  1. BreOfficialBlog says:

    You WILL and CAN beat them Stark ! It sounds like you have your own team there for you too : ). I have school to do tomorrow but know that I’ll be thinking of you and you’ll be in my prayers tonight : )

  2. If for some reason you feel overwhelmed go to the hospital. Dont think it over just go.

  3. sophielaycock says:

    Congratulations on snapping up your blades. It shows you do have great strength even when it feels like you’re so close to giving up. I believe you can get through this! Try not to rely too much on the crisis team – ive only ever seen one woman from crisis who I felt actually helped me. That’s out of about 20 different people! Have you tried ringing the Samaritans? They provide free telephone advice and they have always been really nice to me! Stay strong! Thinking of you ♡x

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