Drunk and stupid.

Ok, so tonight I drank too much to shut them up. It hasn’t worked. I feel sick. They’re screaming at me. Again. Still.

I am a mess. I was raped, gods know how many times. I was mentally and emotionally abused by the same person. I have struggled with depression since being twelve or thirteen and I have been too emotionally high to classify as normal in between. I am a wreck now. I am “that” girl- the one who mutters to herself, who flinches when you talk to her, who snaps a band on her wrist to punish herself.

I hate how I am. I let down everyone.

I’m a bit pissed, so if this comes out weird, I apologise. I wish I was never born. I wish that there had been another child before me that would have been normal.

Alcohol loosens tongues. Fact.

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6 comments on “Drunk and stupid.

  1. alcohol is an escape, you deserve one. it is not for long though, but with some council you will find things are getting better. So tough it out for now, be strong.

  2. BreOfficialBlog says:

    I’m glad to hear your feeling better now. Alcohol may loosen the tongue but it solves none at the end of the day. I’m so incredibly sorry to hear you have felt that way, been treated that way and have to feel that way about yourself. You mean so much more than any of those things. Hope you’ll find answers for all you want answered tomorrow! Hope you feel even better Stark….

  3. Lucy says:

    Sending you virtual hugs xxx

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