I am such a fucking idiot.
I wish I could stop this. I relapsed. I killed my butterfly, and right now I’d love to kill myself. What is the fucking point in letting down so many people when all that happens each time I pick myself up is to let them all down again?!?!!
I really don’t deserve your friendship. I am so sorry everyone. I am such a failure.
I still don’t feel numb. That’s the worst part. A friend of mine stopped me cutting any more by just being there- thank you, Y. I wish so hard I hadn’t killed my other friend’s butterfly- I’m grieving for it now.
Will I ever stop this war against myself?!!
I bloody hope so.