The butterfly challenge

I’m starting the butterfly challenge today. I hope it works, I don’t want to keep cutting every night any more. Part of me knows it’s wrong and another part is desperate to cut again.

I’ll keep updating you as it keeps going. I ran upstairs today, drew them on me, and waited for the urge to fade. It hasn’t gone yet, but I hope I can ignore it.


9 comments on “The butterfly challenge

  1. louiselaw1 says:

    My heart is with you and good luck with your Butterfly challenge. I too have drawn a fair few butterflies on myself and found they have really helped. You are so brave for wanting to stop self harming, it is one of the hardest things to do. Whenever I feel the urge to cut (it always happens at night for me too) I look at my butterfly and I remind myself of all the reasons I am doing this. You deserve to see your self for all the wonderful things you are. Take care and I hope your butterfly enjoys her time with you until she flies free ❤

    • Thank you for what you wrote, so much: I’m desperate to cut this evening and i really needed some extra motivation. I will keep trying to stay clean. I’m going to draw another butterfly on me if I make tonight.

      • louiselaw1 says:

        I completely understand how you feel and when I am in recovery I find that the first seven nights my mind is screaming that I should cut. I have tried lots of different things to get through it though. If you are feeling frustrated at all, snap a hairband against your wrist. It gives you a short pain snap and can act as a way to calm the urges.
        If you are missing seeing the scars use a red felt tip pen and mark yourself where you used to cut. This one sounds silly and I always avoided it, but when my scars were beginning to heal I missed the scars, so it helped get that urge under control at least a little bit.
        And if you are really really struggling more than a few times I have written a pros and cons list of self harming. Trust me, the cons always out weigh the pros.
        You absolutely deserve to get through this. I know its hard and for the first few days you will be feeling like a junkie needing a fix (thats how I felt). Just keep your hands or mind busy, chew gum, draw, rearrange your wardrobe. You will get through this ❤

      • I have been flicking the band on my wrist, and i think it’s helping. I’m going to try drawing on myself more and seeing if the red pen trick works for me. I will make my own list of pros and cons and see if it works. Thank you so much for your advice and support.

      • louiselaw1 says:

        Any time, if you ever need any more advice or help or if you feel like you are going to relapse but really don’t want to please feel free to email me,

        I don’t check it constantly, so I might not reply straight away, but I do understand what you are going through and if there is any way I can help, I would be happy to.

  2. Fizzy says:

    Good luck with the butterfly project. I really hope it helps you. I have draw a few butterflies on my body along my recovery journey too.
    You really do deserve a life free from self harm. And you are really inspiring for taking this positive step towards recovery. I will be praying for you.
    “Just when the caterpillar thought it’s life was over, it turned into a butterfly”

    • Thank you so much for writing that! I’m getting a lot of support for the butterfly challenge at the moment, and I really appreciate your comment- I want to cut so badly again this morning, but I will try my hardest not to.

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